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What Makes for a Holy Lent?
It is Ash Wednesday, a day when Christians are called to take time to reflect on our sinful nature, confess our sins, and commit to a holy Lent during which we consider the love of Christ who endured human brutality to bring us into right relationship with God.
With all that has taken place in recent days, I keep recalling a story a good friend told me about a conversation he had years ago with a “preacher’s kid.” The topic was healthcare. The preacher’s kid did not consider it a right, but a privilege for those who earned it. My friend inquired: hypothetically speaking, if there were a way for everyone to receive healthcare without raising costs or lowering benefits for the PK, would he be OK with that? The answer: no.
In the ancient Palestinian world in which Jesus lived, one of the most egregious offenses was envy. Envy is more than wanting something. Envy implies that we want to take from another for ourselves what rightfully belongs to the other. If you think about it, envy (and a failure to trust) was at the root of that first sin in the mythical story of Eden. The man and woman have everything they could ever need. There is only one tree off limits to them: the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When the serpent tempts the woman with these words: “…God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God…” (NRSV, Gen. 3:5), the woman cannot bear the thought that God has something she does not. She no longer trusts God to have her best interests in mind.
It seems to me that our country – even much of our world – has become a place where we no longer are simply concerned with having what we need. Rather, we are concerned with taking from others what they need. We have succumbed to fear and envy, believing the lie that others simply having enough must mean we will NOT have enough. Clearly, such a fear reveals a deep belief that God does not have our backs, that God cannot be trusted to provide for us, and – perhaps, most painfully of all – that we have a right to be like God, taking for ourselves what is not rightfully ours nor even essential to our well-being.
Britt and I went on vacation down south in January and below are some reflections I wrote on the car ride on the way home…
I have often reflected on the fact that I had absolutely no control over the geographical location of my birth, the date of my birth, the parents to whom I was born, my ethnicity or the color of my skin, the religious upbringing and values I was steeped in over the course of my adolescence, or my socio-economic class. All of these particularities of my existence were beyond my control, yet exercised a great deal of influence over how my life unfolded.
On vacation, I decided (on a very cold Austin afternoon unfit for outdoor fun) to get a manicure. My manicurist was a Vietnamese immigrant and the owner of the establishment. Near the conclusion of my manicure, he began to express his disgust with immigrants… (an irony that is never lost on me. Some of the most adamant opponents of immigration I have known are themselves, immigrants.) The primary focus of my manicurist’s ire was Middle Eastern, Muslim immigrants. In his judgment, they are terrorists who have come to destroy our nation. I voiced my objections… which I imagine he didn’t appreciate much. As I reflect on the Middle Eastern Muslim (or secular) immigrants I have come to know in recent years, the vast majority are not destroyers, but healers: physicians and medical researchers, as well as leaders in interfaith ministries and efforts to improve quality of life for people (of varying background) in their local communities. I wondered how many people of Middle Eastern descent my manicurist personally knew. Has he ever broken bread with them, pursued peace with them, marched for justice with them?
It was Mother Nature that brought a detour to our vacation. When the forecast promised dangerous conditions in Dallas and Memphis (our southern route home), Britt and I agreed to leave early and weather the storm in Tulsa where it would be snow only and a minimal amount. I’m a big Sylvester Stallone fan and love Tulsa King. We stayed at the historic Mayo Hotel where some of the scenes have been shot. It was a perfect destination. The hotel houses a museum of artifacts from early Tulsa history, has magnificent architecture and coffee, dining and cocktails right there under the hotel roof. What more could you ask for on a snow day!
But, as I roamed around the large room housing historic photographs, objects and documents, I stumbled across two maps of Oklahoma. If you weren’t aware, Oklahoma was purchased by the government in the early 1800s as part of the Louisiana Purchase. But its oil industry did not explode until the early 1900’s. So what, I wondered, did they do on that land for a hundred years? I was embarrassed that the question had crossed my mind; I should have known better. As I looked at the two maps (if I recall correctly, one was dated 1820 and the other 1840… although it could have been 1840 and 1860), I noticed that in those short twenty years, the white European settlers managed to wipe more than half of the indigenous tribes off the map. More than half! Of course, one tribe was the Osage. The Osage lived on oil-rich land and quickly accumulated wealth as a result. Holding land rights to oil wells was quite lucrative. But white Europeans couldn’t bear to see the Osage living comfortably, so they murdered them. I recently learned that killing off the buffalo as a way to kill off natives wasn’t the only environmental destruction we wrought to get the natives out of the way so the white man could “drill, baby, drill” and get rich. One tribe further south depended on a particular type of peach tree. So, we destroyed those too. Any plant and animal was fair game if it could be used as a tool for Native American genocide.
But lest any of us forget, it was not only the native people we destroyed in Tulsa. Tulsa was also home to Black Wall Street. White Europeans were no less offended by African Americans who had worked hard to create a community with an excellent standard of living and abundant opportunities. So we put an end to that as well.
All of which brings me back to Lent…
If one were to observe a holy Lent this year, if one were to take repentance seriously, perhaps it would involve a refusal to buy into the great lie of human history: that the well-being of others poses a direct threat to us and ours. Perhaps, rather, as those who claim to be people of faith, we can embrace the truth that the God who made all things made enough for all of us and not because we earned it but because God loves us. Let us observe a holy Lent by refusing to allow fear and envy to determine the way we engage with others… near and far. Let us observe a holy Lent by living in a way that demonstrates that we do, in fact, trust in God’s grace… after all, it cost Jesus his life. It would be a shame to reject such a precious gift.
Praying for a More Gracious, Generous World
This morning, someone asked if I publish my pastoral prayers. I haven’t in the past, but here is this morning’s (October 6) prayer:
Loving and generous God: made in your likeness, we struggle to reflect your generosity to the world. It is hard to be generous with our money when grocery prices have risen, when (as young people) we struggle to pay student loans and rent, when (as older people) the cost of healthcare feels overwhelming. Loving and generous God, it is hard to be generous with our time. There is so much to do and only so many hours in the day. Work, meetings, appointments seem to consume our calendars when we know our time with you, family, and friends is what truly matters most. Loving and generous God, it is hard to be generous with our talents. There are so many needs around us and so many organizes that do good. We struggle to discern how we can offer our best abilities and skills where it will matter most and truly make a difference. Loving and generous God, it is hard to be generous with our hearts. The world has become such a hostile, polarized place. It feels safer to hide our deepest self and only share with those who share our values and opinions. And yet, you are a God who gives abundantly, even offering up your life for our salvation. Help us to grow in our generosity that others might see your grace and goodness reflected through us.
Lord, throughout this week we have continued to see images of those who lives were upended by Hurricane Helene. Provide for their needs, O gracious God. Through the giving and serving of others, we pray for clean drinking water, medication, food, shelter, and comfort for those who are grieving.
We pray for the Middle East where violence seems to be spreading like wildfire. We pray that those at odds with one another may recognize the value of every human life and the futility of retribution. May they come to recognize that violence only begets more violence and destruction; that a scorched earth leaves in its wake nothing to sustain life.
Merciful God, while we grieve the suffering of those so far away, we grieve the suffering also of those who are near to us and dear to our hearts.
We pause for a moment of silence to name in our hearts and lift to you those who are sick:
We pause for a moment of silence to name in our hearts and lift to you those who are grieving the death of a loved one:
We pause for a moment of silence to name in our hearts and lift to you those who are walking the valley of the shadow of death, as well as those who accompany them on the difficult journey:
We pause for a moment of silence to name in our hearts and lift to you those who are in financial need, struggling to keep a roof over their heads and food in their tummies:
We pause for a moment of silence to name in our hearts and lift to you those who experience violence, bullying and disrespect in their homes, at work, at school, and in their communities:
Faithful God, we pray for this community of University Heights. We pray for the university – its students, faculty, and administrators, and for Rev.s Ari and Azi who lead the ecumenical ministry. We pray for the families served by BIBS and those who break bread each month at our community meal. We pray for our Children’s Center – its teachers, children and families. And we pray for our United Methodist Church and for our bishop, Tracy Smith Malone.
Gracious God: teach us to make choices each day that conform to your desires for us and for the world and to cooperate and engage with others according to the way Jesus taught us to live and pray…
Our Father, who are in heaven: holy is your name.
Your Kin-dom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread
and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
And lead us not into times of testing, but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen.
Questions
This Sunday, August 25, I’m beginning a sermon series at University Heights (uhumc.com) based on a book by Trevor Hudson titled “Questions God Asks Us.” I wonder if you have noticed how often during his earthly ministry Jesus poses questions. Sometimes he even answers a question with a question! Jesus engaged with those around him in ways designed to stimulate critical thinking. Questions are important because they demonstrate that we are curious and open to learning. When we stop questioning, we stop learning and growing. Our world and the Church is changing at a rapid pace and COVID brought significant and permanent changes to our culture. If churches think we can just do the same old same old, we’re doomed for failure. Likewise, people on a genuine spiritual quest aren’t going to be placated by “I told you so.” If churches care about reaching people, we need to welcome questions and be willing to ask and respond to a lot of questions.
Toward that end, throughout my current sermon series, I’m inviting people at church to write their questions to God inside outlined question marks on poster board stuck to the walls of the sanctuary. One question someone wrote was this: “Why did you [“you” being God] allow Eve and Adam to bring sin into your perfect world?”
It’s a great question. That first man and woman ruined Paradise for all of us, right? And, we’ve been trying to get back to the garden ever since (as Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young sang). You may not know that many ancient Eastern cultures had creation stories. The ancient Babylonian creation account, Enuma Elish was loaded with violence. Multiple gods fight one another for primacy and humans get caught in the cross-fire. A god named Marduk is triumphant over another god named Tiamat. A god who aligns itself with Tiamat becomes the raw material Marduk uses to create humans. We read of Marduk’s purpose in creating humans: “I will establish a savage, ‘man’ shall be his name… He shall be charged with the service of the gods.”
What a different story we encounter in Genesis. In the second account of creation in Genesis, chapter 2, God is intimate with creation. God gets down into the dirt to shape the first human. God breathes his very breath into the man, a very intimate gesture. God isn’t seeking to enslave the man for he places him in a beautiful garden. God wants the man to enjoy fellowship so he creates woman to be his ezer, his helper or partner. God comes into the garden in the evening to hang out with the man and woman. Clearly, God creates out of a desire for beauty and fellowship, with a desire to bless. God wants relationship with these humans.
But relationships require trust. Relationships can’t be built on coercion, manipulation or force. Relationships always give the other the option to choose for themselves, the option to reject intimacy. Relationships promote freedom. But freedom can always be abused and that’s what happens. In Genesis 3:5, the serpent’s assertion that the forbidden fruit can make the woman “like God” is a temptation she cannot resist. It appears the man and woman want to “level the playing field.” They do not trust that God has their best interest at heart. Trust is a relational concept, not a legal premise. God desired relationship with us so much, God was willing – and still is – to take the risk and allow us to choose for ourselves if we are willing to trust God.
Come join us for worship at University Heights UMC, 4002 Otterbein Ave, Indpls, at 9 a.m. each Sunday.
Consideration/Evaluation
This post is the seventh in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
OK, first off, it’s been more than two weeks since I blogged. With the holiday, I got behind. Secondly, while I’ve titling this “Consideration,” the words “review” or evaluation” are definitely better words… but they don’t start with a C and I’ve already confessed my bias for alliteration.
Years ago, I attended a church growth training event. At the event, a leader said that, after any ministry concludes (short-term and long-term), there should always be an autopsy. I’ve always remember that and it came to mind again when I recently read a great article from the Lewis Center. You can access it here: https://www.churchleadership.com/leading-ideas/7-questions-to-determine-if-your-advent-traditions-are-still-meaningful/?utm_source=cc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=LI20231108
However, isn’t it a bit late? Many churches had their Advent calendared out two months ago. Nevertheless, the questions were too good to waste. So, why not use them in January to consider or evaluate the effectiveness of your annual Advent traditions/events. Plus, having pastored in the real world, I know it can take months (sometimes years) for people to release time-honored traditions even if their effectiveness is now minimal. So, if we evaluate in January, we might be able to discern, release, grieve and be ready to create something new and more impactful for Advent, 2024.
Below are some of the Lewis Center’s questions adapted for a review context:
- When this ministry/event began, who was its targeted population? Is that who attended this year? If not, why might this be? Does this population still exist in our neighborhood? If they do, are their needs/interests the same or have they evolved? Did this year’s event attract a specific demographic? If so, who? What do we know about this population and why might it have attracted them?
- Are there “churchy” patterns or rituals associated with this event that have become foreign to our secular, contemporary culture? And if so, are those patterns/rituals still important? And if they are still important, how might we express them in more cultural accessible ways?
- How did you hope people would response to this outreach ministry/event? Is that, in fact, how they responded? If your goal was for them to join your church and start volunteering and giving financially, that’s a pretty self-serving goal. As Carey Niewhouf says, that’s something we want FROM people, not FOR people. So, go deeper. What do you hope FOR people and how did this event communicate that hope.
- Finally, did this event foster building human connections and cultivating Christian community? Today in America, most people don’t need to go far to get food, entertainment, and social services that are better than the food, entertainment and services provided by most local churches. So, offer people what the Church can distinctively offer: a connection to Christ and community!
Context is Everything
This post is the sixth in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
As a preacher, I have discovered how essential context is. Words without context can be confusing, misleading or, even worse, wounding.
But there’s more to context than words. One definition of “context” is: “considered together with surrounding circumstances.” Several articles I found online discussed “space” as “context” from an architectural or ergonomic perspective. But, in my thinking, context and space can be interchangeable and go well beyond an appropriately sized desk (although that’s a huge deal for me because I’m so petite and feel like I spend half my life working with my elbows up to my ears!).
Leaders play a critical role in establishing context within an organization, in insuring that context is hospitable and there is A Place for Everyone. Leaders are called to bring everyone to the table; to consider “surrounding circumstances” from our individual and varied experiences and perspectives. Each work environment provides a context within which we explore our identity and our ideas… which can be incredibly helpful if we embrace this reality. Those we lead already have uniqueness to their identity. They already have ideas brewing within them. Will we, as leaders, encourage others to give of themselves to create A Place for Everyone: a creative, courageous, collaborative context?
In the last couple weeks, I’ve struggled with my “surrounding circumstances.” I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and waking up in the dark is a huge challenge for me… hardly motivational. Right now, I’m looking out my office window at a cloudy, dreary sky. My phone tells me it’s 39 degrees with a “feels like” temp of 31. Burr…
Yet metaphorically, our inward, spiritual, space/context can project outward to influence our shared context. We can lend light and warmth to a context, or darkness and coldness. My new position of Associate Director of Innovation, Engagement and Development is one in which I am called to collaboratively construct contexts of warmth and light that provide A Place for Everyone. It’s something our world and our denomination desperately need.
Join us this (Wednesday) evening at 6:30 for A Place for You Online. And, if you haven’t yet done so, join: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aplaceforyouinumc/
The link to join A Place for You Online can be found at https://www.inumc.org/umc-a-place-for-you/ midway down the page on the right.
Collaboration: It’s Always Better When We’re Together
This post is the fifth in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
Years back in a conversation with an unchurched person, he said to me: “I’m not really into the ‘sage on the stage.'” We went on to have deeper conversation around traditional sermons (which is what he meant by ‘the sage on the stage’). My unchurched friend (BTW, every person who goes to church ought to have unchurched friends!) found enormous value in dialogue and there’s absolutely no dialogue with a traditional sermon. I consider myself a pretty decent preacher but I have to confess: sometimes I look out and feel as if I am holding the people in the pews emotionally and intellectually hostage. I mean, sure, they can always get up and walk out; but that’s not a healthy way to respond to words that confuse, challenge, or anger me, right?
When I was at my church in Lafayette, I worked with a great staff and lay leaders. Over the years in ministry, I think my best ministry results came through dialogue. Many times all I had was a tiny seed of an idea but, thrown into the soil of those great minds, it grew into something really fruitful. We miss out on so much when we try to go it on our own as leaders. Great ideas need to be shaped by perspectives and experiences and my individual perspectives and experiences are limited. My ideas can grow bigger when they are exposed to multiple perspectives and experiences… even perspectives I disagree with!
Now, don’t get me wrong… Education and training are important. I’m proud to be part of a denomination (United Methodist) that requires its clergy to be educated. Educated clergy and religious scholars have a critical role to play in interpreting the Word of God. But that Word never exists in a vacuum. It only bears fruit when it’s planted in our lives and I will never know as much about your life as you do… and paradoxically, I will never know as much about my own life without knowing about your life. I guess this is why, while at Trinity, we launched Trinity Fusion, a space where the Word of God and the word of our lives could be fused and integrated.
I guess this strong commitment to collaboration is why I feel so much passion and excitement around this new online community I am launching through my work with the Indiana Conference. It, too, is a place where the Word of God and our own words are fused. It is a space where we collaborate to go deeper in our relationship with God AND with others. I don’t think spiritual formation can ever be a spectator sport, nor can it be a solo performance. It is a team, an orchestra. If you are interested in doing Christian community in a way that is collaborative – that requires courage, deepens compassion, promotes curiosity, and grows communication – please consider joining us for A Place for You Online on Wednesday evenings at 6:30 Eastern time.
A Place for You Online Gathering for dialogue, discovery, prayer and celebration
6:30 PM Indiana (East) Every week on Wed, until Nov 15, 2023
https://inumc.zoom.us/j/84536355755
Meeting ID 845 3635 5755
Curiosity: It might not be good for a cat, but it’s essential for a leader
This post is the fourth in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
One of my favorite books is “Questions God Asks Us” by Trevor Hudson. People often think of the Bible as a book of answers. But it’s amazing how many questions are in Scripture. Jesus was very fond of asking questions… In fact, he often answered questions with questions!
I think Jesus asked a lot of questions because he wanted to get people thinking. Jesus’ very first words in the gospel of John are addressed to disciples of John the Baptist who turn to follow Jesus. Perceiving their presence behind him, Jesus turns to ask them a very deep question: “What are you looking for?” The question in Greek (the language of the New Testament) is even more powerful. It’s a two word phrase: tis zeteo. Tis can be translated as what, who or why. “What are you seeking?” “Who are you seeking?” or even “Why are you seeking?” See what I mean? It’s a deep, deep question.
My last “leadership C” was communication. But communication is impossible without genuine curiosity. Consider how few people – including leaders – are genuinely curious about the thoughts, ideas, beliefs and passions of others. Often our curiosity is crowded out by assumptions and prejudices. In my opinion, curiosity and fear can’t exist in the same space. Curiosity is a stance of openness… not openness in the sense of being wishy-washy or gullible; but openness in the sense of making every effort to sincerely let our guard down and open our ears, minds and hearts. Today our world seems paralyzed with fear. We are so fearful of “the other” who is different. But fear begets fear and, eventually, violence. Curiosity begets openness, understanding, and creativity.
When leaders are curiosity about the ideas, opinions, experiences and dreams of those they lead, it can lead to powerful collaboration and creativity as walls of fear, prejudice and insecurity break down. Curiosity demonstrates respect and builds trust.
This Wednesday, October 11, at 6:30, we’ll launch A Place for You, an online gathering for people who want to explore a different approach to Christian community. As we convene, I’ll be asking participants to covenant together around how we will be in community with one another. One thing I’ll be asking of us all is to: “Cultivate safe space by being gentle and curious.” Let’s make the world a more kind, creative and welcoming place by being curious.
To find the link for Wednesday’s gathering, go to https://www.inumc.org/umc-a-place-for-you/
Communication: What?
This post is the third in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
As someone in ministry, I spend a LOT of time thinking about Communication. Any leader today can tell you, it doesn’t matter how many times you announce something or how many different communication channels you choose (email, text, social media post, etc.), lots of people you want to reach will complain they never got the information. It’s maddening! And, good luck finding a solution to the problem.
But I think the most important communication channel a leader can use is face to face and one on one… Although, obviously, you’ll never reach thousands of people that way… But maybe you don’t need to. People listen so much better when they have a personal connection to someone. And people listen best when they know they have been listened to.
I’m a spiritual director and have also been trained in coaching and both of those trainings remind me that listening is far more important than speaking. Spiritual Director, professor, and author, Diane Millis, writes of the need to “listen [another’s] soul into discovery and disclosure.” We “listen” others into understanding. The most powerful teaching, coaching and spiritual companioning begins with questions; thoughtful questions that prod people to go deeper.
Communication that begins with listening always requires us to give our undivided attention. Nowadays, we all try to multi-task… which is, by the way, a neurological impossibility. “Multi-tasking” is really just rapid task switching and, in truth, the more frequently we “task switch,” the less effective we become. (By the way, I’m preaching to the choir here!)
One of the things I’m curious about in years to come is “what will happen to church sermons?” Personally, I think sermons will go the way of dinosaurs. Talking “at” people isn’t real communication. If we want to really connect, we’ll need to communicate well… and communication is always dialogical and it always begins with listening.
My bottom-line is this: If you really want what you are communicating to get through, begin with authentic listening that leads to understanding. Begin with questions that encourage deeper thinking, invite questions, maintain dialogue not monologue.
If you’d like to try out “church” in a format designed to be more dialogical, that “holds space” for others to enter the conversation, I want to invite you to a new online gathering I’m launching on Oct. 11. See the details below:
A PLACE FOR YOU – An online Gathering, Beginning the week of October 8
Is the way church gathers together not the right fit for you? Would you like to join an experiment in something different?
WHAT: a six-week online gathering to forge community, incorporating:
· dialogue and in-depth study of bible stories
· varied prayer practices
· gratitude and celebration
WHY: because maybe:
· a “message” doesn’t have to be a sermon
· prayer is more than words
· gratitude and celebration aren’t limited to an offering plate
WHO: Those interested in exploring different approaches to Christian community
WHEN: Wednesday evenings at 6:30 p.m., beginning October 11 and concluding Nov. 15. We’ll dialogue together about where/how to proceed from there.
If you are interested, email tracey.leslie@inumc.org
Courage: Don’t be the Cowardly Lion
This post is the second in a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
Compassion (my first post) is the most important leadership C, but courage ranks pretty high as well. I read once, long ago (and have often said to staff) that “Compliments should go down the chain of command and criticisms/complaints should go up the chain of command… That’s why I get paid the big bucks” (keep in mind, I work for the church, so “big bucks” is relative!). Sure, ideally, we should all be responsible for our own actions and work. But, if you are the leader, you have an ultimate level of responsibility and that’s why leadership takes courage. Things that go wrong make people angry… at YOU… even if you weren’t the one who did it… whatever IT was. And that’s why leadership takes courage. Leaders lacking in courage can’t really lead. When a tough decision needs to be made they flip flop, put it on someone else, procrastinate, or give in to whatever is popular at the moment (even if it will be counterproductive in the long run). That’s because an unpopular decision often makes the leader unpopular and, let’s face it, we all like to be liked. I think this is even harder in today’s world where people have lost their filters. Discretion is now out of fashion. Make an unpopular decision and some of your staff/constituents/volunteers will register their complaint not with you, but via social media. Now, you’re not just unpopular at the office; you’re unpopular in the “surround sound” of cyberspace!
So, how do we call forth the courage we need to make the right decisions even if they are unpopular? In secular terms, I guess it would be called ego-strength. But, I’m a Christian leader, so I think the answer lies in trust.
My favorite Hebrew scripture comes from Psalm 131.
This picture is my mother and me on mom’s 40th birthday. Do you notice how content we both look?
My mom was born for motherhood. She was always happy to have me around… OK, at least most of the time! And I never felt safer and more content than when I was on my mother’s lap. Unlike a nursing baby, by the time I was eight, I didn’t sit on mom’s lap because I needed anything. I didn’t need any “thing.” I only needed her. Being with her always felt safe and satisfying… as if time had stopped and there was nothing else except my being with her. Now I want to note: I realize my childhood was an exception and many kids aren’t so fortunate as to be raised by parents who cherished them. But, God always cherishes each of us and that’s where our courage comes from! We can behave with courage when we know that – wherever we are – we are resting on the lap of our heavenly mother who loves us and keeps us. That doesn’t mean my feelings never get hurt or that life doesn’t suck sometimes. It just means that my popularity or approval from others can’t define me. I can snuggle up on God’s lap no matter where I am or what’s going on at the moment. Humility, vulnerability, and the courage to lead well are grounded in our trust in God’s care.
The C’s of Leadership: Compassion
This post begins a series around the C’s of leadership, featuring a different Leadership C with each new post. Whether you lead a corporation, a church, a department, a classroom, or a family, HOW you lead has enormous impact on those you lead.
I have long thought I’d like to write a book called The C’s of Leadership. But, having already published one book, I’m aware that:
- It’s tons and tons of work, and
- Unless you’re famous, you won’t make any money from it!
Blogging seems easier and more cost effective. So, in the coming weeks, I’m going to blog about my favorite leadership C’s.
I think the most essential leadership “C” is Compassion. We’ve all worked for incompetent supervisors and, admittedly, it is beyond frustrating and annoying. Still, even worse than incompetence is an utter lack of compassion. As humans, we desperately need compassion (you might also call it mercy or empathy). Compassion (even simple decency or kindness) seems to be in short supply in our world today. We need compassion because we’re human… which means we’re flawed and vulnerable… which often leads to feelings of shame and fear… which often leads to competition, polarization, and demonization. Few things trickle down to destroy an organization more than a lack of compassion at the top. Empathy and patience are learned. When those at the top of an organization fail to model compassion, the entire organization evolves into a dog-eat-dog domain. The fear (fed by competition, polarization, and demonization) that a lack of compassion spawns activates our reptilian brain making it impossible for us to be creative, confident, effective and efficient… not to mention, collaborative. When employees or volunteers lose the ability to be creative, confident, effective, efficient and collaborative, it’s “game over” in an organization.
When you show me compassion, I know I matter to you as a human being, first and foremost. Knowing I am valued leads to a sense of security that fuels creativity and collaboration. I can take risks, thereby exploring new ideas and making new discoveries that lead to growth.
| When you show me compassion, I know I matter to you… I can take risks, thereby exploring new ideas and making new discoveries that lead to growth. |
In scripture, God’s response to people is consistently provoked by God’s compassion or mercy. (The Hebrew or Greek word can be translated into English as either compassion or mercy. But, I’m a big fan of alliteration and this blog post isn’t called the M’s of Leadership, so…) Notice how many times those seeking healing from Jesus make their appeal with a plea for mercy/compassion (Matt. 9:27; Matt. 15:22; Matt. 17:15; Matt. 20:30-31; Mark 10:47; Luke 18:38-39). Notice how frequently the Psalmists speak of God’s mercy (Psalm 23:6; Psalm 25:6; Psalm 40:11; Psalm 51:1; Psalm 69:16; Psalm 119:77; Psalm 123:3, etc.). In fact, the first time God self-describes in scripture (Exodus 34:6), “merciful” is the first adjective God employs: (NRS) Exodus 34:6 The LORD passed before [Moses], and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness…” Mercy or compassion is used to describe God so frequently, it’s as if it’s God’s middle name!
I suppose there are some leaders who think demonstrating compassion will look weak and cause their direct reports to become lazy and sloppy. But, being compassionate isn’t the same as being a pushover. There’s strength and integrity in being able to say through words and actions, “You matter to me. I want you to do your best AND be your best and I’m willing to provide the support you need to be your best.”
If we want to lead as disciples of Jesus, no leadership C is as important as Compassion.
traceyleslie 